


Nobody Likes the Joker

by DarkwingSnark, Moonbeamcat



Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: M/M, not cool jokes from the Joker, violence tw, you'll see it when it happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 14:43:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17061704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkwingSnark/pseuds/DarkwingSnark, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonbeamcat/pseuds/Moonbeamcat
Summary: Joker is busy clowning around, being a pest... He finally sets eyes on Crane and Tetch, when his comments hit a nerve.





	Nobody Likes the Joker

**Author's Note:**

> Completely wrote by Moonie alone, once more.

Arkham was full of criminals of all standings, motivations, and mental stability, but every one of them agreed on one thing; nobody liked the Joker.

Except for Harley, the poor, misguided soul.

This never seemed to bother the clown in the slightest. In fact, he seemed to revel in their hatred, using their disdain as a weapon against boredom. The common room was the perfect place to garner a little attention. Today it contained Ivy and Wesker, sitting on the couch (five feet apart because, if the rumors were true, they were both very gay), and Jervis and Jonathan sat at the table playing chess.

And that’s when the Joker joined them to liven up the party, strolling over to plop himself in between Ivy and Wesker, hooking an arm around both of them and pulling them in.

“Ivy, Dollman! So good to see you. Just one, big, happy family, aren’t we?”

The Joker frowned when neither of them replied. You see, there was an unspoken rule among the patients of Arkham; ignore him and he will grow bored and go away. Wesker didn’t even look at him, but Scarface and Ivy were both giving him death glares. Ivy skillfully dipped out of his grasp and scooted herself back across the couch, curling into a protective ball, her attention returning to the television.

Ah, the television! Joker’s grin returned. He hopped up and changed the channel, throwing Ivy a sly look before sitting back down. This would get a rise out of her for sure! … Joker scowled when the station changed back immediately.

“Huh? What gives!” Joker spat.

“Thank you, Jervis.” Ivy said with a smile. Joker turned to see Jervis smiling, tucking a remote back into his pocket.

“That’s not playing fair! Guards! Tetch is building his gadgets again!”

But even the guards made no indication the Joker was there, staring straight ahead, arms crossed. Joker grumbled and stood from the couch, grabbing a spare chair and plunking it down next to the table where Jervis and Jonathan sat. Neither of them seemed to notice him. That was fine. These two would be easy to rile up. His favorite game!

“You know, Jonny boy… I don’t know why you even bother staying in your cell.” He paused, but Jonathan didn’t even so much as glance his way, moving a chess piece instead. “You’re so thin, you could just slip through the bars!” He ended this with a jovial chuckle… but still, Jonathan remained looking bored, head propped up on his hand, elbow on the table. Jervis moved a chess piece, looking equally as bored and uninterested.

“But I suppose you’d have to leave your pal behind, wouldn’t you? All those cakes made him grow a little bit too much, didn’t they?” Joker chuckled again, even nudging Jervis with an elbow. Jervis, still, ignored him completely.

Now Joker was beginning to get annoyed. He refused to lose this game.

“I heard a rumor you two were sweet on each other, you know.” He saw Jonathan glance at him from the corner of his eye. Yes! He’d hit a nerve. “But I told them no way! Everyone knows Jervis only dates little girls.”

Jervis’ expression suddenly went slack, eyes wide and blank. White hot rage faded his world to red when the realization of what Joker had just accused him of fully set in. When the world swam back to him, he was standing, hands balled into fists. Joker lay on the floor at his feet, curled into a ball, blood seeping through his fingers as they cradled his face. The room was suddenly deathly silent. Jervis unclenched his hands, and looked down at them in shock. Blood was smeared on the back of one of them.

“Oh… oh my, I, I’m sorry, I…”

“Guards! He  **hit** me! I’ve been _assaulted!”_

The guards sprang into action, alright, and Jervis backed up in fear as they did so, spouting more and more apologies, not to the Joker, but to the guards. But the guards didn’t touch him, they merely scooped up the Joker to haul him off for medical attention.

The room suddenly filled with the sound of clapping. Jervis looked around in surprise, his smile slowly returning, when he saw everyone in the room giving him smiles and a round of applause. He adjusted his hat, a nervous habit, and sat back down.

“The nerve of some people.” He muttered, unable to hide his smile at finally feeling completely accepted by his fellow rogues.

“Mm-hmm.” Jonathan was smiling deviously from across the table, giving him a look that caused him to quickly avert his gaze back down to the chess board.

“Have you heard the rumors?” Jervis asked, moving his next piece. “I’ve heard you’re sweet on me.”

“Ridiculous.”

“Indeed.”


End file.
